>> God damnit !!! Whats this happening to me <<

From Wikipedia
Recursion, in mathematics and computer science, is a method of defining functions in which the function being defined may be used within its own definition. The term is also used more generally to describe a process of repeating objects in a self-similar way. When two mirrors are pointed towards each other, the repeating images that occur are a form of recursion.

For example, the following is a recursive definition of person's ancestors:

• One's parents are one's ancestors (base case);
• The parents of any ancestor are also ancestors of the person under consideration (recursion step).

Wednesday ,6th December 2006,
I come back from work, at about 8.00 PM, talk to two of my friends in the hall watching tv,
tell them about something and head straight to my room.
Put on my ear phones and start playing some first person shooter war game.

Some time passes by and somebody suddenly peaks in to my room and I realize that the third friend who lives with me. He gives me a weird stare and leaves, I get out to him and ask him "What happened?" He is like "dude I have been banging the door from a long time whats wrong" and I am like, "well I dint hear it mate I was wearing this ear phone and I thought that other guys were here. Where are they by the way ?" , I dont get an answer to my quesiton, and after some time I find myself in the office discussing some serious issue somewhere with the logic of a program. and I am trying to explain to them that "why don't we use "Recursion" to solve it , it wud be much more efficient and fool proof"

Suddenly I am shouting.

The cry finally ends and I find myself sitting in the garden next to my house. I am talking to my grand daughter "kiran" explaining her how beautiful the moon is. Its the year 2027 and well I have lost 21 years of my life. What am I doing here and how come? where are these 21 years of my life.
I realize, I have been loosing time, the same way a person suffering from multiple personality disorder suffers of time loss. I then think about it for some time, while I am still talking to my grand daughter about the moon. I say "ok now, go and play", and while she is walking back to her friends, some thing strikes me, I had once read in a book that a person suffering from MPD doesnt loose time for more than a year,

in which case it would mean that the original personality is dead and this second or the nth personality which is the strongest of all has taken over and continues to remain forever

I am asking myself , "Who am I ?"
Whats my name and by the way, what was I originally like. Who am I married to, who is this kid that I was talking to sometime back. Was she really my grand daughter.

By this time I have completed n calls in a recursion.

I am hearing something !!!
which goes this way "ttteet ttteeet"

or rather it could be
Typically a person looses more than one year of time in MPD cases when he is undergoing treatment,

whoa
The good news is that I have now been completely cured, the bad news is that it took me 21 years to regain my original personality,

God damnit whats this happening to me.
"ttteet ttteeet" is becoming more wild.
Now its even more louder and repeating "ttteet ttteeet ttteet ttteeet" ,"ttteet ttteeet ttteet ttteeet"

"Stop that shiiiiit".

I open my eyes in disgust,
here I am back,
watching the wall clock reading 7.11 AM and hearing the nokia's alarm trying to wake me up.
I'am stretching my hand out desperately to snooze it for a while.

Its 7th December 2006, I am back,
Was it a dream, yeah of course it was.
The mind is tired by now. I am feeling sick to the core.
The mind is just not willing to let it all go. I am still sitting there in the garden, the alarm snooze has timed out and the nokia piece of shit is relentless,

Something from within says me "wake up , ur getting late".
By now I am rushing for work.

days begins its weird journey again .

What a dream this was, aggghhhh..
Sickest.

and weirdest of all is that I remember every damn thing that happened , or is it that I missed out a portion of it, may be I missed out those 21 years of my life.

I am sure for now, that yes I did loose rather, I forgot that part my dream which had the 21 years of my life that I seemed to have lost thinking in my dreams that I was suffering from MPD.
You know why am I so confident, cos I had a second dream which I remembered when I was travelling to office that day,
and what I remember from the dream was that "I was being considered dead while I was still alive , was being cremated alive, u know thats the reason why "I was shouting" , remember the cry
Now I get the connection as to why I was moaning, it was cos of the burning sensation.

Any ways the weirdest part is this :
The "burning alive" dream was in between that part of the first dream before I was shouting and the part when I was with my grand child.

A dream in between a dream.
A dream trying to penetrate another dream.
Recursive. Well not really thats not recursion, it would have been recursion if I had had a dream in my dream.

Or was it a series of dreams that I saw , and I am just remembering parts of each of them,
and trying to fill up the gap by connecting them into a singleton.

Enough of this crap.
I guess u already are thinking that "I am mad" ,

Well just relax I am as sane as any one of you and living and breathing a normal life.
But I am sure some of you would definitely re-read the whole blog and while you are reading the second time u would skip the part after this.

Enough psycho shit for making a movie. isnt it.
Something like the "MeMento" ,

Well I am just kidding,
no body would even give it a second thought i think.
and I guess you've already promised yourself not to read the other posts of my blog.
Believe me this was my worst blog ever..

But I guess I would never forget this whole experience, thats probably the reason why Im blogging it.

Lots of things that I have been waiting to blog on... just dont find time...
i guess these would be the topics...

1. I wish I was a sea horse
2 "chewed up"
3 Why do ppl cry : "moscow massacre"
4 ...:::: woman ::::.... : go listen to Bryan Adam's (when you love some one) and Ronan Keating's (When you say nothing at all)
5 talking the talk and walking the walk


Offfff I go for now.....